Summit Shorty #4

[Philip Mooney]

This was the 4th race of the Shorty series. I hope my previous posts have let you know that I love these events, the people that come to them, and racing my mountain bike. By now, you're all used to reading the facts about these race. You don't need another one of those race reports to read, so I'll present you with some "alternative facts" about the race. I'll note my alternative facts with an asterisk (*).

Same fun and painful course as always. In contrast to last week, we were greeted by cool temperatures and a stiff headwind on the climb. Another field full of fun guys arrived at the start line. Lots of faces from the races before in attendence, plus the notable addition of Justin Schwartz, who is a stud enduro racing guy. Acme was well represented with teammates Greg and Mark(s). And then we had the usual suspect of high school enemies, led by the incorigible Otis Lyons* and super talented Sebastian Dow*. These high school guys are all peaking for the NorCal state championships this weekend and focused on that race.

On the start line everyone was chatting amicably. Jim was the emcee and we were all having a good time. I was in the front row with Justin and Mark Gibson. But then trouble came rolling up. Otis rolled up late and demanded to start in the front row*. Jim told him sternly to get back in line, but he let him know that his generation "don't do lines or listen to stuffy old men."* Kids these days. I gave him a sharp look and shot a few choice words about the pain I was about to inflict upon him and his family.* He quickly recognized my superiority and lined up behind us.*

The race started, and Justin launched in an all out race start sprint. He rode it like the start of an enduro stage, and he smashed it like a bat out of hell to get up to speed and settle in for the descending. It was an impressive effort. He got up to speed and built a small gap quickly. The small flaw in his plan was that instead of a descent there's a road climb right after the start. When we hit the climbing bit I continued riding steadily and came up to him pretty quickly and moved into the lead alone. Mark Gibson came around just a bit behind, maybe 5 seconds back. Behind him was Otis*. He was very clearly suffering and intimidated by the pace Mark and I were riding*. I continued riding steadily coming into the second lap and maintained the gap.

On the second lap things remained much the same. On the third lap I looked back and noticed Mark was getting pretty darn close to me. I gave it a little extra gas and my gap went out a bit. On the fourth lap we continued riding steadily. Fifth lap was much the same. Then the bell lap. Remember the last race where Sebastian cut the cone at the top of the course to come around me before the humps to the finsh? Well this time he and Otis cut a huge section of the course and popped out in front of me going into the descent.* The battle was on! Sebastian looked back at me and cackled, "we're crush you now you washed up old man."* Since he was looking back, he missed a slight bend in the trail and went rolling down the grassy hillside.* He looked like Westley in the Princess Bride as he careened down and out of contention.* As you wiiiiiiiiiish.

Now the  race was really on, a furious and exciting battle between me and my arch nemesis Otis.* Would strength and experience beat his youthful exuberance? Oh the drama! It was a high stakes game of cat and mouse with neither of us wanting to lead out the sprint into a headwind.* All the while, the threat of Mark chasing closely behind played in the back of my mind. I knew I must keep riding hard to stay away. That guy is super strong and never gives up. Whenever I'm in front, it makes me nervous to have him behind because I know he's flogging himself to catch me!

In the paragraph above I described the upcoming battle for the win between Otis and I as a battle of wits, a high pressure game of cat and mouse. Well, actually it was more like a battle between a stallion (me) and slug (Otis) and I crushed him mercilessly*. I rolled across the line solo for the win. Mark rolled in close behind after a great job of chasing.

Public service announcement: all my alternative facts (*) are complete fabrications. The high school dudes didn't even race. Best of luck to them this weekend at the state championships!

[Mark Gibson]

Nice write up Mr. Trump, but why no mention of the YUGE crowds cheering you on?