Summit Shorty #6: The Grand Finale

[Philip Mooney]

Many of the folks out at the Shorty's are pretty young, and they likely don't recognize the comedic genius of the show Seinfeld. Today we're going to talk about Festivus. Festivus is a holiday that includes a Festivus dinner, an unadorned Festivus aluminum pole, practices such as the airing of grievances, feats of strength, and the labeling of easily explainable events as Festivus miracles. Although normally celebrated on Dec 23rd, the grand finale of the Summit Shortys covered all the tenants of Festivus with a festival-like atmosphere....and I loved every minute of mountain bike Festivus!

If you haven't seen the show you should watch this brief clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8g4Ztf7hIM

Airing of greivances: Here are the people that disappointed me yesterday. Kate Benjamin was out watching the race but not participating herself. Maybe she got that terrible idea from her dad, Dave Benjamin, who was also manning the grill and not on his bike. Dave, someone else can check the grill for 20 minutes while you race next time. Additional shoutout to Carson for not racing at all. Who needs and education when there are Summit Shortys to race?!? Otis Guy is the worst. He's "out of shape" despite racing the state championships 10 days ago. He rode his bike out to the race and didn't even ride the course. Elise was there too, dressed to race and on a mountain bike but not racing because she didn't have $20. I like supporting juniors and offered to pay her entry fee but she declined. Obviously the money was a poor excuse for her being lazy! I'd also like to formally note my compaint against all the high shool racers for being so skinny and fast.

Festivus Dinner: Of course we had a mountain bike festivus dinner. Lauren and all the other volunteers made a great BBQ spread to feed all the racers. Food and drink and fun. Such a cool atmosphere. I wish we did that every week.

Festivus Pole: Since this is mountain bike festivus, the normal aluminum pole was carbon fiber. It came in the form of my brand new race hardtail, A KTM Myroon Sonic. It's a sweet bike with all the latest and greatest parts. I had dropped the bike box off at Acme on Tuesday night. Jim went in to the shop early on Wednesday to build it up, and Scott drove it directly to the race to meet me there. That is pretty amazing service from an amazing bike shop. Support Acme bikes folks! I hopped on my new ride, rode 4 laps of the course, and then raced on it.

Feats of Strength: The race itself! This was by far the strongest field of the entire series. We had all the high school studs from the previous weeks (except for Otis who is a lazy slob and my sworn enemy) in attendence plus a few new fast guys, including Redwood studs Dylan and Zach G. I knew the race would be ripping. It started off with the high school boys going ludicrously hard the first minute of the race to get the holeshot just in time to slam on their brakes and let everyone that started at a reasonable pace catch up going around the first switchback. I don't know why I'm constantly surprised that they do this...maybe because it makes absolutely no sense every time I see it. I just noodled my way to the first corner, got to the corner without breathing hard, and easily got back on because they were all waiting in line to go around the corner. I'm probably giving away my secrets here, but I suppose it's good for these guys to learn that you don't have to start off every race by sprinting. Anyway, we continued down the descent and went up the climb moderately hard with a big group of us and me sitting on the back. On the second lap we went down the descent like normal, climbed moderately hard again, and I slotted in to 2nd wheel at the top of the climb behind Dylan Fryer with a quick sprint to get past the other guys. The third lap was the decisive lap, which was my plan going in to the race. Dylan led down the descent. I got to the pavement climb in 2nd wheel and got out of the saddle and rode the climb as fast as I could. I was a bit worried that guys would be able to sit on me over the top because of the stiff headwind, but I was able to distance myself from Dylan and pull away with a gap of 10ish seconds by the top. This ended up being the fastest lap time of the entire series, and it blew up the race for everyone. I was out front. Dylan chasing me alone. Sebastian and Zach riding together. Ben chasing them. Etc etc. The next 3 laps I just tried to manage my gap and make sure Dylan stayed 10-15 seconds behind me. If I saw he was getting closer I went a bit harder. If he was falling back I chilled out. The other guys all rode in that same configuration too. Then I finished the race and won. A festivus miracle!

Major props to my San Rafael Bike Dawg homie Santi for winning the B's and Simon Hewitt for winning the C's! I'm looking forward to you badasses racing in the A's with me soon.

Thanks to all racers, volunteers, organizers, and sponsors for creating such a cool local event.

[Rob 'RJ' johnston]

Nice reporting Phil You Rock!